I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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