I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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