please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize