Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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