Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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