You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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