Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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