is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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