If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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