you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
