Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
