She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
