Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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