he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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