I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
