Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
