At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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