She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
