why didn't you poke me back
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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