did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize