i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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