White coat. Heels.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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