Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
