Fuck appropriateness.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
