her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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