I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
