ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
