my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
did i just pee glitter
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
