his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
