It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
