Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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