he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize