I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
