I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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