I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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