My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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