Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize