Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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