i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i love accidental penises.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize