i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
