I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
