We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
