I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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