Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm experimenting with sincerity
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
