Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize