i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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