just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
