apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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