No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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