I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
