I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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