Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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