I seem to have left my pride at pride
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
