She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
