She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
