I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
